Site Terms

 

Ecomattressdeals.com Terms of Service

1.  Introduction

Welcome to Ecomattressdeals.com, a property of RH Venture Holdings, LLC.  These Terms of Service (“Agreement”) are a legally binding contract between you and RH Venture Holdings, LLC which we require all users to agree to as a condition of using our website.

Throughout this Agreement, you may see the terms, “we,” “our,” “us,” “RH Venture Holdings, LLC,” “Eco Mattress Deals,” and “Ecomattressdeals.com.”  Where appropriate, these terms refer to us, RH Venture Holdings, LLC.

Additionally, the terms “Ecomattressdeals.com,” “Eco Mattress Deals,” “site,” “website,” and “service” refer to our website and its associated services, Ecomattressdeals.com, as is appropriate.

“You” and “your” refer to you, the person entering into this Agreement with RH Venture Holdings, LLC.

2.  Description of Service

Ecomattressdeals.com offers individuals who are so environmentalist that they are ashamed of their own existence to purchase environmentally-friendly mattresses at low prices.  Finally, you can sleep and save the Earth at the same time!

Please note that we don’t ship any mattresses ourselves—instead, they are dropshipped to you from a third party location.  So, don’t find us and break into our office looking to feed your insatiable mattress habit.  Believe us:  It happens more often than you’d think.

3.  Basic Conditions of Use

In order for you to access and make purchases from our website, we require that you:

• Be at least eighteen years of age, or, if a higher age of contractual capacity exists in your jurisdiction, then you must be at least that age.  Seriously, if you’re under eighteen, how nerdy are you to be online ordering mattresses anyway?  We’re laughing at you right now.

• Be a resident of the United States.  Sorry, but it’s just too expensive for us to ship entire mattresses overseas.  Also, we got too many returns from shady countries after our customers didn’t realize that ICBM just means Incredibly Comfy Bed Mattress.

• Be able to check out online.  Chances are that if you’re reading this, you can check out online, unless you are holding a printed copy of these Terms of Service, in which case, stand where you are—don’t move an inch.  Our lawyer is on his way to sue you for copyright infringement.

Notwithstanding your fulfillment of these eligibility requirements, we reserve the sole right to refuse you service to you at any time for any legal reason, or no reason at all—maybe we just picked your name out of a hat.  We don’t have to tell you why we refuse access to our service, and if you did something that made us refuse access, you’re lucky if you even get a message that says, “We don’t like the cut of your jib.”

4.  Rules of Conduct

Once you comply with the basic conditions described above, you still have to obey other rules when using our service.  You agree that you will not:

• Violate any applicable foreign, federal, state, or local law.  You’re not allowed to do this anyway, so we don’ t have to tell you this, but we thought we’d mention it anyway.  Obviously, there’s a limit to our caring about foreign laws.  For example, if a bearded midget from Slovakia comes to us with a death warrant for you because you insulted his mother while ordering a mattress from us, we may or may not decide to terminate your service.  If you commit credit card fraud using a Canadian credit card, on the other hand, we will cancel our services to you and help extradite you to a forced labor bacon mine in French Canad
  
  
•   You will not use another person’s account, nor will you allow another person to use your account.  Seriously, you can catch diseases that way.
  
  
• You will not use any bots, scripts, aggregators, people, or well-trained monkeys to fill out any forms or take content from our website.
  
  
• You will not reproduce, reverse engineer, copy, disassemble, distribute, transmit, or otherwise create, analyze, or disseminate any derivative works of any offers, services or incentives offered, obtained, or provided by Ecomattressdeals.com.
  
  
• You will provide accurate information whenever filling out order forms or any other forms.  Besides, if you don’t provide accurate information, we probably won’t be able to get your mattress to you unless we’re psychics.
  
  
• You will not hack, crack, phish, upload any viruses, SQL inject, or otherwise interfere with the safety, security, or integrity of our website, or the network or computers of us, ours users, or any others related to our website.  Hacking and cracking is so 90s, so if you’re still doing it, lose the plaid shirt and Nirvana cassette tape and do something better with your life.
  
  
• You will not otherwise interfere with our operations.  Doesn’t that sound like something Darth Vader would say?

Any violation of these rules may result in immediate termination and/or legal action, including but not limited to ninja-related vengeance.

5.  Our Intellectual Property

We rely on the uniqueness of our brand to distinguish us from competitors.  As such, we are very protective of our brand, trademarks, trade dress, and other identifying marks.  You agree that you will not use our trademarks or name, copy the “look and feel” of our website, or otherwise infringe on our trademark or trade dress rights.  You agree that the prohibition of your copying of our “look and feel” is a contractual obligation in addition to a reminder of any applicable intellectual property laws, and is in the nature of a non-competition agreement.

6.  DMCA Notices

Ecomattressdeals.com is totally cool with copyrights—why, one of our college roommates was a copyright and we got along fine.  So, if you believe that your copyright has been infringed, please send us a message which contains:

• Your name
  
  
• The name of the party whose copyright has been infringed, if different from your name
  
  
•  The name and description of the work that is being infringed
  
  
• The location on our website of the infringing copy
  
  
• A statement that you have a good faith belief that use of the copyrighted work described above is not authorized by the copyright owner (or by a third party who is legally entitled to do so on behalf of the copyright owner) and is not otherwise permitted by law.
  
  
• A statement that you swear, under penalty of perjury, that the information contained in this notification is accurate and that you are the copyright owner or have an exclusive right in law to bring infringement proceedings with respect to its use.

You must sign this notification and send it to our Copyright Agent at:

RH Venture Holdings, LLC
Attn: Copyright Agent
404 S. Mill Ave, Suite C-201
Tempe, AZ 85281
copyright@ecomattressdeals.com

If sending the notification by e-mail, an electronic signature is acceptable.

7.  Limitations on Liability; Disclaimer of Warranty

WE ARE ANGRY AT HOW LONG THIS IS TAKING US TO WRITE, SO WE’RE GOING TO YELL NOW TO VENT FOR A BIT.  ALSO, THIS IS IMPORTANT SO IT’S GOOD THAT WE’RE YELLING.  RH VENTURE HOLDINGS, LLC, ITS SITE, SUBSIDIARIES, THIRD PARTIES, ADVERTISERS, AND ANY OFFERS ARE ALL PROVIDED ON AN “AS IS” BASIS. THIS MEANS WE DISCLAIM ANY WARRANTIES OR DAMAGES THAT RESULT FROM YOUR USE OF THE SITE, OR FROM STICKING A FORK IN AN ELECTRICAL SOCKET—WE KNOW IT’S REALLY FUN BUT WE DON’T CONDONE IT AND YOU SHOULDN’T DO IT.  WE DISCLAIM ALL DAMAGES OF ANY KIND WHETHER THEY ARE KNOWN, OR COULD BE KNOWN, NOW OR IN THE FUTURE. THIS INCLUDES INCIDENTAL, ACCIDENTAL, COINCIDENTAL, OCCIDENTAL, TRANSCENDENTAL, AND DENTAL OFFICE DAMAGES, AS WELL AS CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE, INDIRECT, SPECIAL, OR OTHER SIMILAR TYPES OF DAMAGES.   FOR JURISDICTIONS THAT DO NOT ALLOW THESE TYPES OF DISCLAIMERS, BECAUSE THEY THINK YOU ARE TOO DUMB TO READ AND UNDERSTAND A CONTRACT SO POLITICIANS MUST PROTECT YOU FROM YOURSELF, OUR DAMAGES ARE LIMITED TO THE SMALLEST EXTENT PERMISSIBLE BY LAW.  IN ADDITION TO THE ABOVE DISCLAIMER OF WARRANTIES, WE DISCLAIM ANY AND ALL LIABILITY FOR YOUR USE, INABILITY TO USE OUR GOODS OR SERVICES, OR FROM ERRORS, DEFECTS, OR IF THE SITE IS DOWN.  IF YOU ARE A RESIDENT OF CALIFORNIA, THEN YOU ARE AGREEING THAT YOU ARE RELEASING US FROM ALL CLAIMS, INCLUDING MINING CLAIMS AND DRY CLEANING PICKUP CLAIMS, EVEN IF YOU DO NOT KNOW, OR DO NOT SUSPECT THAT THE EVENTS GIVING RISE TO SUCH CLAIMS EXIST AT THE TIME OF EXECUTING THIS RELEASE.

8.  Third Party Websites, Social Networks and Your Information

As a part of offering our website and goods to you, we may link to third party websites, meaning any website not found at the domain “Ecomattressdeals.com,” through advertisements or otherwise.  These websites may be based in different jurisdictions than our own and subject to different laws.  They may or may not have terms and privacy policies governing their use, but if they do, they will not be the same as our own.  Therefore, you acknowledge that we have no control over these third party websites, and that you will take all measures necessary to make yourself aware of the separate legal rights you have when using these websites, and of the separate security measures that you may need to take.  If a man wearing a top hat and Victorian clothing twirls his moustache while waiting for you to agree to the third party website’s Terms of Service, we would suggest that you do not agree to them.

We will also allow you to interface with social networks like Facebook and Twitter using APIs.  Please be advised that we have no control over your privacy settings on these networks and that it is up to you to safeguard your privacy by configuring your settings on your social network accounts.

9.  Indemnification

You hereby agree to indemnify us, our affiliates, employees, officers, advertisers, and any others associated with us for any damages that may result from your use of our services, whether they be to you or a third party.

You further agree that, in the event that a third party claim is brought against us arising from or relating to your use of our service, you have a duty to defend us against that claim, including bearing any reasonable attorneys’ fees, court costs, or disbursements.

You agree that we may settle any or all such claims against us without defending against them in court, and that you will still have a duty to indemnify us for such settlements.

To summarize, if you screw up and it harms us or someone else, we may decide to find you and make you pay through the teeth.  If someone else screws up and harms you using our site, we may choose to do the same thing, so this works out really well for you depending on who you are.  Basically it all comes to whether you are a jerk or a really nice person.

10.  Choice of Law

The law applicable to this Agreement and to the goods and services we provide to you shall be that of the State of Arizona.

11.  Forum of Dispute

Any disputes relating to or arising from this Agreement or the goods or services provided under it shall be resolved solely in a court of competent jurisdiction in the State of Arizona.  If such courts cease to exist, you agree that the dispute will be resolved by having our lawyers walk a tightrope across the Grand Canyon—last one on the rope wins the case.

You agree that if you fail to bring an action in accordance with these “Forum of Dispute” rules, we, or our counsel or other authorized representative, may make a motion seeking to dismiss your claim against us, and that you will be responsible for all of our reasonable attorneys’ fees, costs, and disbursements.

You agree that all attorneys’ fees, costs, and disbursements will be awarded to the victor in any civil action.  If both sides are only partially successful in their claims and/or defenses, then you agree that the attorneys’ fees, costs, and disbursements will be awarded to each side only for the attorneys’ fees, costs, and disbursements which were incurred for the successful portion of their claim or defense.

12.  Cancellation & Non-Waiver

We may suspend your account or refuse to provide our mattresses or other goods to you at any time for any reason.  If you or any other person are in breach of this Agreement, or engage in any other actionable conduct against us, we may not notice, or we may simply choose not to take immediate or any action in regards to it because we’re lazy or cheap.  This shall not constitute a waiver of our right to enforce that breach within the applicable limitation period, or of similar breaches in the future, or of any other breaches.  In other words, the fact that we do not enforce a legal right, whether it is against you or someone else, does not mean that we cannot choose to do so in the future, or in the movie Back to the Future.

13.  Payment & Refund Policy

Payments

You can pay for our mattresses using a credit card.  When you use a credit card, it must be yours.  If it’s not yours, you must be authorized by the credit card holder to use the card for the specific purchase that you are making.

Please note that chargebacks aren’t free—they cost us money.  If you order something and make a fraudulent chargeback for the item in order to avoid paying for it, we will be very, very mad.  So mad that we will report the matter to your local police and hire the Mexican Federales to hunt you down.  We will also report the matter to your credit bureau, refer it to a collections agency, and have our lawyer sue you.  So, don’t do chargebacks unless you’re entitled to.

Also, if you weren’t even thinking about a chargeback, forget we mentioned it.  Our policy of completely annihilating dishonest people helps keep your mattress prices low!

Refunds

All refund policies will be posted on our website, but in any event such policies do not apply to goods that you have damaged yourself.  So, please don’t use your mattress as tinder for a bonfire and expect us to take back the remains.  View Returns Policy

14.  Force Majeure

You agree that we are not responsible to you for anything that we may otherwise be responsible for, if it is the result of events beyond our control, including, but not limited to, acts of God, war, insurrection, riots, terrorism, crime, labor shortages (including lawful and unlawful strikes), zombie attack, embargoes, postal disruption, a new Justin Bieber album, communication disruption, Communist takeover of the government, failure or shortage of infrastructure, shortage of materials, shortage of short pants or shortening, or any other event beyond our control.

15.  Severability

In the event that a provision of this Agreement is found to be unlawful, conflicting with another provision of the Agreement, or otherwise unenforceable, the Agreement will remain in force as though it had been entered into without that unenforceable provision being included in it.

If two or more provisions of this Agreement are deemed to conflict with each other’s operation, we will have the sole right to elect which provision remains in force.  That’s right:  We have all the power, so be nice to us.

16.  Assignments

You may not assign your rights and/or obligations under this Agreement to any other party without our prior written consent.  We may assign our rights and/or obligations under this Agreement to any other party at our discretion, for example if we are selling our business, or simply because we want to tease you about how we can assign things whenever we want and you can’t.  You agree that we may send you a video of us unnecessarily assigning our contractual rights back and forth while laughing at you.

17.  Amendments

Um, Congress shall make no law… Uh, the Right of the People to keep and bear… Oh!  We may amend this Agreement from time to time.  When we amend this Agreement, we will post the amended version on this page.  You may refuse to agree to the amendments, but if you do, you must immediately cease using our website and our service, and must not even think about ordering a mattress from us.  If you think about our mattresses, we’ll sue you.